But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize