Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
and you fell through a lawn chair
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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