Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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