the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
