what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
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