Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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