how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
you didnt know i had herpes?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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