I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
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As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
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We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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