So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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