Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize