Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
