Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
