found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
