pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just want to make out with him forever
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
