I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
