if i can run in heels then i can drive
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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