Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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