im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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