We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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