thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
