I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
