In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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