brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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