Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
