I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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