I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
