I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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