in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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