If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
