I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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