Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
