The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Michael Bay diarrhea
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He shit in the fireplace
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