bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
