hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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