I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
