he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Pants are for mortals
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
