why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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