I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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