He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
