I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
