I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
40s are totally the cure
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
