just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize