okay pat passed out under dana's car
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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