6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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