could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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