whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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