she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
