put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
