Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
