I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
