Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"