I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
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i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
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I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!