So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize