Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
