my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
