im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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