someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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